someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pants are for mortals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
