i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
