Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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