its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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