Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
