Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
