Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
