hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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