My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
