Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize