and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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