i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
