I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
