Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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