This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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