So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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