would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
