I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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