Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
