if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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