uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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