all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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