he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
