But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
