i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
