He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
