dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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