Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize