Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?

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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(817): View more from Texas

I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.

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(815): View more from Illinois

just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college

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