What a fucking waste of an outfit
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just pee around me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
