You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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