i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
