I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
