Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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