I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
