so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
did you just send me my own nude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
