I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
