Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
