She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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