everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
