he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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