So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
