the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
