you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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