she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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