I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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