I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
