i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
