Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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