Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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