My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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