that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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