After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
