So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
