So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
