Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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