i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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