he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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