I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
