you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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