Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
